J is for Johnny The Anti-Santa

The Christmas my daughter was a year old, my brother-in-law Johnny decided he wanted to play Santa.  I was not that keen on the idea since I had taken my daughter to see Santa at the mall the week before and she would not go anywhere near him. She was petrified just at sight of him.  Johnny said he had already bought the Santa suit and really wanted to start a yearly tradition.  He got my mother on board and between the two of them they wore me down, so I reluctantly agreed.

Christmas morning, early, my daughter and I were sitting under the tree when we heard the first sounds of Santa.  It started with the jingling of bells, followed with lots of HO HO HO's and then an indescribable sound like glass cracking.  The glass cracking sound got louder as it got closer and the HO HO HO's and the bells seemed to fade into the background.  Johnny rounded the corner into the living room covered from head to toe wearing something that looked like a giant red garbage bag.  My daughter screamed in horror at the sight of this loud, plastic Santa, that had just invaded the room.  He sat down lowering her onto his lap. As her tiny body clashed with his plastic garbage bag body the glass breaking sound loudly erupted,  she screamed louder wanting no part of him.  Needless to say, the Christmas tradition of the Red Plastic Bag Santa ended that day.